First off, I love old radio shows. The Shadow, Burns and Allen, Fibber McGee & Molly, etc, etc. I will listen to any of them whenever there’s an opportunity. Over the years I have not only heard them rerun on the air, over streaming audio services, and on tapes or CDs, but I have also been fortunate enough to gradually obtain some old 16″ studio transcription discs and a big giant Gates broadcast turntable that would play them…..in this manner, and through some purchases and trades, I eventually amassed about 16,000 old shows and news broadcasts of the 1920s-1950s period that are now encoded as mp3 files. Naturally, I also built a small AM transmitter so I could play them into it and tune them in on one of my antique radios…because let’s face it, Jack Benny’s violin solo is just better from the warm glowing dial of a 1937 Zenith than from a computer.
Usually, I do not remember my dreams. …or, if I do, they tend to fade quickly once awakened…..as if the switch on the old TV was turned off and the picture on the tube dimmed and faded and shrunk into a grayish green dot that glowed for a few moments in the center before it too faded to black as the last of the electrons finished their job of exciting the phosphors on the inside of the magic tube. But one dream in particular, from several years ago, still stands out ….and it is still funny to me.
So, as mentioned, I love the old radio shows. And, of course, Vaudeville, where many of the great acts got their start. I can’t tell you a damn thing about TV celebrities, but radio….those names I know, and I know who sponsored what show and how they worked their ads into the skits without the obnoxiousness of “cut to commercial” like they do now. (there were also only about 3 commercial spots in a half hour show back then, compared to many more now) The writers were far more creative. By the time they were done, you loved whatever they were hawking almost as much as the act who was peddling it. Why? Because it fit into the situation at hand and it was funny! You got a laugh. And you remembered it. And perhaps this is why I remembered the dream–it is the only time I distinctly recall ever waking up laughing.
So in this dream, I’m in a lecture hall of some kind, I don’t quite recall if I was doing an interview or just a discussion of some kind….but George Burns was there on stage with me. For those who don’t know, George Burns was one of the greatest straight men in comedy. He and his wife, Gracie Allen, were a wonderful act. Anyway, George was explaining what the job of a straight man is. “..The straight man sets up a situation that his or her foil responds to to generate a laugh. In another variation, the foil says something, prompting a reply and again, the situation is damned funny….” I won’t belabor this too much, as I am nowhere near the level of George. Not by a long shot. But the technique was a common and successful one. Gracie played foil to George. Lou Costello to Bud Abbott. …and in a little twist–Jim Jordan as “Fibber McGee” to Marion Jordan’s “Molly.” You see, the straight man need not be a man. In fact, he need not even be “straight” in the modern sense of the term. And this brings us to what happened during that lecture hall meeting……someone from the audience asked if the straight man needed to be straight. “Of course not, replied George, in fact one of the greatest straight men I knew wasn’t straight at all.” “…What? You mean he wasn’t being straight up funny?”……”No! That’s not what I mean at all…. he or she can be anything and if they can do the material it’ll be great.” or something like this. I got slightly distracted because about this time, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello showed up.
Now, Abbott and Costello are probably best known for their “Who’s on First?” routine. And if you didn’t know this, take some time to familiarize yourself with a good old recording of it. You’ll thank me later. So Abbott and Costello show up, and interject themselves into what George Burns was trying to explain. …something that can best be described as a mashup between their “Who’s on First?” routine and George trying to calmly set Gracie right on some minor thing that became far more complex than it should have…..but wait, there’s more: Fibber and Molly had their say as well, and mentioned that mayor Latrivia would need an old comedy book to study the matter before he would state a position (he’s a politician, you know)….which of course, Fibber has a copy of…..in the hall closet! Now, to the uninitiated, EVERYTHING was in that closet. As a fan of Doctor Who, I am certain that Gallifreyan technology was involved because that closet was clearly bigger on the inside than the outside (could 79 Wistful Vista have been a Tardis?)……at least until the door was opened and all of the contents tumbled out into the hallway–a recurring gag that always hit its mark.
So I do not know exactly how the discussion went after the closet was opened because about this time I was laughing enough to have woken myself up and even a few years later, it is still funny to me. Maybe funny because the imagination of what could have been said just flows from there. Or maybe it’s only funny to me. My own personal channeling of a Vaudeville mashup that no one else wants to hear and for which I’d be crucified if I ever tried to write it into a skit for performance…although I still kinda think it would be a fun skit..and I know both a great venue for it and a few people who could help me…hmmmm. I’m sure there are lessons here. (don’t quit the day job comes to mind) Beyond the obvious that anyone can be anything if they apply themselves to the task and have some talent for it….and that we should not judge, etc. And beyond the now apparent direct understanding that a good laugh is good for your memory. But I will leave those lessons for the readers to decide and will instead offer this piece of advice: Be kind to one another and go find something funny enough to wake you from your sleep.